You made it!
Thanks for fighting through the CAPTCHA bullshit. Great to see you. I have snacks.
OK, that’s a lie. I can’t deliver snacks digitally. But I’m now in your life, and really, isn’t that the most important thing?
Tell you what. Instead of snacks, how about that free book? It’s a never-before-released writing manual that I put together just for my newsletter subscribers. It’s available to download as an ePub (for ereaders like Kindle) and as a PDF for desktop – totally free.
There’s also no DRM (Digital Rights Management) of any kind. Share it around all you like. Just don’t use it to train your AI, or I will visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress.
(Download instructions below—if they don’t work, let me know! I’ll help you out.)
ePub Download (for eReaders, via DropBox)
Getting ePub files onto eReaders varies, depending on the model. But as a good example, for Amazon Kindle, you can either email it to your device or upload it manually. Here’s a great guide—don’t worry, it’s a super simple process.
PDF Download (for Desktop, via DropBox)
Super-simple formatted PDF if you prefer to read on your laptop or phone, like a psychopath.
Wait…There’s More?!?
Why the hell not? Here’s a free audiobook, published under my real name, written, recorded and mixed by me. Free, gratis, mahala, because you’re awesome and I like surprising you with cool shit.
Crush Depth is not like any other games company. Every day, over a single hour, they create a massive, new, multiplayer online game from scratch. That hour is called Crunch, and the company – led by the enigmatic Henry December – has come to dominate the gaming world.
Daniela Swartz is one of Henry’s animators. She’s deeply loyal to Crush Depth, and would do anything for the company. But when she discovers evidence of corporate espionage, Daniela decides to investigate. And she’s about to find out that not everything at Crush Depth is what it appears to be…
Enjoy! Download instructions below.
iOS Download (for iPhones—Zipped M4A file, via DropBox)
To get the file onto your iOS device, simply import it into iTunes on your desktop, or whatever your preferred media player is. When you sync your phone, the audiobook should be copied across just like any other music file. It should appear in your iBooks app under the Audiobooks tab, and it will also be available in your Music app. Like all audiobooks, it remembers where you left off, so you can easily stop listening and pick it up again later.
Android Download (for everything else—Zipped M4B file, via Dropbox)
Getting an audiobook onto an Android device isn’t quite as easy as an iOS one, but it still works well. Use the same method as on iOS, importing the M4B file into your media player and then sync your phone. Most Android music players should be able to recognise an audiobook, and play it as such, but I recommend Doubletwist Classic Player, which has both desktop and mobile versions.
Desktop download (for PCs and Macs. Obviously)
Listening on desktop is easy. Just download either the M4A or M4B files above, and import them into your preferred media player. It should automatically be recognised as an audiobook.
Can I listen with the Audible app?
Nope. Sorry about that.
Audible do allow you to upload your own audiobook to this store, but they set the price, and they don’t allow freebies. I wanted this to be something anybody could get. Furthermore, they use their own proprietary file format which is incredibly difficult to convert to if you’re not using their software.
Don’t worry! You’ll still be able to listen to the book on the device and music player of your choice.
A brief legal bit, which I have to state thanks to new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) regulations in the European Union:
I’m Rob Boffard. I’ll keep the email address and name you used to sign up to my email list indefinitely. Only I have access to it. It is stored on Mailchimp’s servers, but they are unable to see the exact details.
By opting-in through the clicked link in your email, you’ve given me clear consent to collect this data. You can opt out at any time (and keep your audiobook).
I am working with Mailchimp to allow you to download this data, or delete it entirely, without asking me first. Until we figure out how to do that, you can opt out anytime by clicking the Unsubscribe link in any email from me. If you want your address deleted entirely, just let me know! I’ll happily delete it and send you proof, if required.
If your data is ever compromised, I’ll immediately let you know.